Tag Archives: Teletubby

Just Another Leap From Space

Earlier this week, Felix Baumgartner, as you’ve probably heard, leaped from his capsule 24 miles above the earth, in a death-defying feat that stunned and amazed people all over the world.

All I can say is big deal. (Warning: spoof alert in effect).

I repeat, BIG DEAL. Baumgartner’s not the first one to put on a super suit (Anyone remember Frozone? Anyone?); embark on a tortuously slow journey; disconnect all forms of support; take a huge leap of faith; and hurtle at supersonic speed toward an unknown and possibly calamitous fate, occasionally spinning out of control, with only the thinnest of parachutes to stop him before the crash.

Self-published authors do it every day.

Need proof? I’ve got a super suit. They’re called pajamas (yes, the ones that make me feel and look like a big pink Po. That’s a Teletubby, BTW, not a missing vowel…) and fuzzy slippers. They insulate me on even the coldest days, and mine even come with an extra special feature that toughens my skin against unexpected critics and verbal smackdowns from folks bearing sour grapes in their hearts.

That 2 1/2 hour balloon climb Baumgartner undertook to get to that dizzying altitude? Let’s see him write a novel. Now that’s a long trip.

As far as support systems go, well, I think it’s safe to say that when authors decide to go rogue and self-publish, they give up a lot of that. No marketing department (although traditionally published authors don’t get much of that these days either); no editorial support; no agent negotiations. Self-published authors do without, and they have to do it all. Did you see the team Baumgartner had supporting him the day of the jump? I’d love to have a mission control center like that for Widow Woman

Yes, we self-published authors take a huge leap of faith, too, and once the book is out there, it’s easy for things to start spinning so fast it feels like a loss of control. You know, the air in the publishing world can be pretty damned thin, too. If you’re lucky (and I am), you’ve at least got (if not an enormous mission control staff) a supportive network of family and friends and colleagues who will grab hold of you when that starts happening, jerk you back upright, and set you on your feet again. They are that thin, ultra-strong fabric that stands between you and the ground–which, I imagine, hurts when you hit it at the speed of sound. A lot.

So if self-publishing is so tough, then why do it?

I’d imagine that it’s for the same reason that Felix Baumgartner decided leaping from 24 miles up was a good thing to do.

He felt compelled? He felt exhilarated? It was a mountain he needed to climb, a challenge he had to accept, a moment in his life that was so great that he would always regret not having attempted it? It was something so vitally important for him to accomplish he was willing to risk a horrible death for it? All right, I concede on that last one–I like my book, but I don’t want to die for it. Just to clarify. But all of those other things?

Yeah. I get ’em. I’m a writer.

P.S. Way to go, Felix. Outrageous.

That answers that question…

I hate a cliff-hanger that drags on too long as much as the next person, so let me relieve the suspense for you: I did, in fact, get the job offer.

I did not, in fact, accept it.

What?! I know, I know–crazy. It was a desirable job, to be sure, and the salary and benefits were better than I would’ve hoped for, especially for my chronically underpaid field. The people I met were uniformly kind, offices looked good. So why did I turn it down?

Well, the commute would’ve been lousy, for a start: with no traffic whatsoever, it was 40 minutes. Given that I would never be driving at times of day without traffic, that means I’d be looking at a real-time commute of closer to an hour. That commute really jacked up my need for greater flexibility, something with which they seemed to struggle. When we factored in traffic, sick/vacation days allowed, wear and tear on the car, impact on the kids should there be an emergency–well, even though it was a fair and reasonable offer, for a position I really, really wanted to accept, the cold, hard reality of our situation was that we just could not make it work for our family. I have to give them credit, I think they really tried to meet my needs–but their hands were tied just as tightly as my own. Fooey.

So, back to the drawing board. If nothing else, the process of interviewing and getting an offer, of trying to hammer out what the “right” job situation would be for me, revealed to me that I am, in my heart of hearts, ready to get back out there. It was intensely disappointing to have to walk away from what looked like The Right Opportunity (even though it was housed in the wrong city for me…); I was really surprised by that. And of course, there’s no discounting the fear involved in turning Opportunity away at the door, especially when you feel like she’s kept you waiting far too long as it is. Your brain kicks into high alert, battering away at your soul with questions like “Oh, my gosh, will anyone ever make me a job offer again?” and “Will those good people blacklist me now, since I walked away from a decent offer?” and “Hmm, which pajamas should I wear to the office today?” (Well, given the temps outside this week, I at least have an answer to that last one: my plush fleece ones, of course–you know, the ones that make me look like a giant pink Teletubby.)

Okay, I have to admit–I would’ve missed working in those…