Motivation. Some days you have it, some days you don’t.

I would say that today is a don’t, except that, before beginning this post, I looked up the definition of motivation:

 n. the general desire or willingness of someone to do something.

Aha! That’s when I realized that my problem today is not a lack of motivation, desire, or willingness. On the contrary, I’m positively bursting at the seams with that. The problem, my friends, is with the “something” I have a general desire or willingness to do. Because today, instead of feeling motivated to put my butt-in-chair and write, I have an irresistible motivation to put ass-on-couch and watch reruns of Sons of Anarchy or The Voice until naptime rolls around. Surf, snooze, repeat as needed.  

I’ll say it again: Just because I’m not motivated to do anything productive today does not mean I’m unmotivated.

What’s that face for?

All right. You caught me. To be perfectly frank, I’m not exactly sure what that means, other than that I probably won’t be very productive, but it certainly does make me wonder what’s happened with my focus since my last post. (Obviously, I’m having no problem with my motivation to italicize today. Go figure.)

It could be lack of coffee, though I am, in fact, on cup #2. Hmm. Just looked at my cup, and noticed it has a really bad attitude problem. Could my cup be the culprit? Hold on; I’m going to go pour the dregs into my I Love Mondays cup and drink the rest of it ironically.

It could be that I’ve had another contractor in the house all week (This one’s ridiculously chatty and chipper; are you seriously whistling while you work? Who does that outside of Disney movies? How do you expect me to pretend you’re not here with all this friendliness?), one that, while still preventing me from doing laundry, has left my kitchen accessible, full of dirty dishes yet compellingly inviting.

Maybe it’s that, after weeks of sweating it, my grad school application was finally marked “Complete” this morning, and this is just the post-sweat cool-down. (Yes, folks, here we go again: 6 weeks of angsty waiting for the verdict of the review board. And yes, I will post about it. Again. Apologizing in advance.) Like how you need to rest after running a marathon? I wouldn’t know what that feels like, personally, but I’m guessing it’s similar enough to work metaphorically.

Writer’s block? Headache? Post-government shutdown hangover? Barometric pressure changes? Demonic—or angelic—possession? (My daughter did make me watch an episode of Supernatural with her yesterday when she was home sick…

Castiel? Is that you? Are you sending out a message on angel radio that yes, yes, YES! I should just lie down on that couch and loaf all day, doing absolutely nothing productive, not just for my own good but for the good of all mankind? Hmph. You almost had me, but I’m guessing that’s more likely Satan, talking—you know, idle hands and all. But I digress. Plenty of motivation for that, apparently; hell, my whole day so far has been one big digression.)

Ugh. I got nuthin’. Not one single good reason for being motivated to do less than my best. Yeah, that’s right, you heard me: I have no excuse. (And this is what I looked like when I said that, too. We could be twins, I’m so NO-EXCUSEY. Whoa, all caps! Maybe there’s hope for today after all.)

Well, she sighed, I think we all know the best, perhaps the only cure for a lack of, or the wrong type of, motivation: Brute force—and more coffee. Hello, cup #3, help me get my butt back into my chair. Maybe I’ll catch a nap this afternoon? Shut up, Satan.