Well, I thought I’d spend some time today doing some actual writing, but once I did all of the catching up from the weekend and worked my way through submissions and query packets for two different literary agents, I find that I now have two minutes before my children will arrive home from school.

Honestly, I feel as though I spend all of the “butt-in-the-chair” writing time that all the writing experts talk about creating query letters! Argh!

All you agents out there, and publishers–isn’t there an easier way? Maybe you could all get together and standardize your formats!

Some of you request a bio; 1 page. Some of you request no bio. Some of you request a bio of 50 words maximum.

Some of you ask for a sample chapter. Some of you specify absolutely no samples unless specifically requested. Some of you ask for the complete manuscript.

Some of you mandate snail-mail submissions only. Some of you are adamant about only accepting e-mail queries.

Some of you say, “Hey, we receive thousands of submissions and queries each month; if we don’t get back to you inside of two months, please feel free to drop us a line.” Some of you say (a bit bluntly, in my opinion), “Don’t call us, we’ll call you. Um, no, on second thought, don’t call us. Ever.”

What is a starving (all right, I’m not starving, I’m actually kind of overfed at the moment after half of a Three Musketeers Bar) writer to do? Is this what you all mean by telling me to write every day?

Honestly, after an afternoon of laboring over this kind of writing, self-publishing is starting to make me drool (or wait, maybe that’s spinal cord damage from sitting hunched over my laptop for too long…)

Sigh. Here comes the bus…