Well, here it is, dinnertime on New Year’s Day, and I’ve already broken several resolutions: I haven’t written anything (except posts to Facebook–those don’t count); I’ve crabbed at my children; I didn’t take Loki for a walk (in my defense, it was a high of just 8 degrees today; it would have been inhumane); I did not take the ornaments off the Christmas tree; I ate two dessert bars from the tray my neighbor brought over Sunday (Bars! Bars! Curse you, bars–too delicious for mere mortals to resist). All in all, it has been a day filled with the sting of failure.
Why do we do this to ourselves every year, this nonsense of making resolutions? What makes us think that, simply because there’s a new numeral at the end of the year, we will do things any differently than we have for the previous 365 days that preceded the big ball-drop in Times Square? I have no answer for that, and now I am filled with disgust at myself for having broken yet another resolution: not to ask myself any more stupid rhetorical questions. Now I am really depressed. (There’s another one broken.) I’d better stop before I hurt myself.
Sometimes I wonder if the real reason we make resolutions each year is because doing so is a socially-accepted form of mass failure. It’s okay to admit to breaking your resolutions because everyone breaks them–you know, misery loves company. Boy, that’s a depressing thought.
On the other hand, maybe the reason we make (and, inevitably, break) these resolutions each year is just a reflection of our dogged need for hope, hope that we can do better, be better.
I would imagine that somewhere between the two lies the truth of the matter.
Well, whatever it is, in the spirit of the day, I resolve now that I will pick my resolutions up off the floor, dust them off and strap them back on. I will grit my teeth and vow that tomorrow I will do better. Tomorrow, I will write for two hours! Tomorrow, I will be patient with my children! Tomorrow, the cold be damned, I will take my dog for a walk! Tomorrow, I will not eat any chocolate–ha ha ha! I almost had you, didn’t I? Me, not eat chocolate…that’s a good one!
But I will try to do better tomorrow, I swear I will. That’s the whole idea, isn’t it? New Year’s Day is all about Tomorrow, the national holiday for optimists everywhere, a day to imagine how much better we can do, how much better we can be, on a day other than today, and that sounds pretty good to me.
So here’s to Tomorrow! Happy New Year!